Neutral Day.

I have had no confrontations with the with the rain cloud today. The incomprehensible aspect of the cloud ordeal is when the cloud is content because it then keeps the heat of the golden spheres from harming me. It feels like nothing can hurt me, I feel invincible, invulnerable, and unlimited. I feel as if I can take on anything that is thrown at me, and that I am not alone. I've been trying to please this cloud in these glorious skies, but my attempts fail. I've tried everything. Sometimes the cloud is dark, and perplexing. Other times it is vibrant, and white. This is the key is here. I've wanted the cloud to dissipate lately, but during its darkness I see slivers of silver. The slivers are buried by an overcoat of confliction. In this state the cloud can harm me, and they often do, but the cloud has brought a great garden of saffron. This cloud has the potential to hurt me again, and again; It continues to do so. I feel like I can help this cloud in keeping its slivers. When I see these slivers it reminds me of when the cloud was in perpetual silver. Which makes me deal with the rain cloud, because I'm hoping it will re-obtain them in return resurfacing true amber. Although the cloud was silver and white, it was certainly not golden. My very essence tells me things are different now, something I wish to believe. My quest to help this cloud isn't easy, as it continues to rain on me I'm standing here in the storm. The storm that I can't seem to escape. The storm I do not want to escape, the storm I love. The ultimate poison. Perhaps I'm in the eye of the storm. Hopefully things will clear once and for all.

I liked how those above lines turned out. I started adding symbolism, and some other devices but I stopped. Maybe I can turn it into a poem of sorts. :) But this isn't poetry hour, so I'll make sure to talk more about life, than this "cloud". I'm just making everything figurative so I don't have to say what's actually happening, but still giving you the general outline.

Anyway, it's the first day of May. Anyways, my two good friends had spent the night yesterday. We woke-up around nine and wasted our day away. We made some food, listened to music, and just chilled out. Nothing exciting. I'm going to begin taking piano lessons soon. Right at this very moment I'm reading on music theory. I cannot wait until I start lessons! I feel like I'll finally have something to do that I will enjoy!

That cloud that keeps reappearing.

But, it is lessening. It loves to reappear just to throw me off my balance again, but little does this cloud know is it's making it easier to enjoy life without it. Without that constant down pour of entanglement constantly perplexing, and tickling my cerebrum. The cloud once ecstatic, almost milky white has altered to being obscure, and dismal.

Things really are getting better for me. The cloud I have spoken of returns sometimes, but to become more of an obstacle. My expectations of happiness are crushed each time. Things are becoming very way too old. I've been doing this so much lately, and for so long. It's just becoming beyond believable. I feel like it needs to end, because it's getting my situation nowhere. It just causes more disappointment, and more unnecessary emotional distress. That's enough of that.

I went to Six Flags today for "Physics Day". It was a great time! I rode The Ninja, Mr. Freeze, Evel Knievel, Batman, and others I cannot seem to remember. I was surprised at how obnoxious some of the people there were, especially in groups. I hate social influence (peer pressure), as I like to call it. People in groups always seem to act like they're so high and mighty! They want to seem cool in front of each other. They also make rude, provoking and unnecessary comments. The verbal aspect is bad, but they also get physically obnoxious too! It's disgusting. I'm tired of people our age. We all really need to mature and just stop being so blind. There's more to life.

Motivation... Finally.

Lately things have been tough. It feels as if the nebulous storm that once was overhead is finally making it's passing. Things seem to be looking up, and I can now move forward. I've been wanting to define myself lately, but I don't know where to start. I want to do so much at once, but I can't pick a starting point. I want to explore music, science- and its branch of physics, and I also want to explore mathematics. I believe I'm leaning toward music though; I really want to pick the keyboard up. I used to play trumpet and baritone in band class at school for four years, so picking up piano shouldn't be too difficult. I already understand, love, and have a great appreciation for music. The choice seems obvious.

I've been listening to such great music lately. Everything by The Shins, and Noah and the Whale. Music is beautiful, and it's the ultimate mood lifter. I love it. :) I have been overly happy today at home (by myself I might add). Weird right? I don't understand, but I love every minute of it!

School was long, entertaining, and unbearable like it usually is. I didn't do anything today, but watch The Big Bang Theory. I went out and got the second season yesterday and so far it's great! I was looking forward to mowing the lawn, but too bad the lawn mower is broken. I took about an hour and a half walk, but when I come home I find out the lawn mower is fixed! What!? I can't mow the lawn now, because I'm way too tired now.